I have the intention to write more blog posts. I have had this intention before and I haven't done what I intended but there we go, such is life, haha! Maybe that is part of my harvest so far for this year, that I can accept where I am and not judge myself for it.
The first theme of our Autumn Women's circles was 'Your Harvest'. What about this year so far have you loved? Not loved? What are you proud of? What have you achieved? What have been your challenges?
It's good to reflect and look at what our learnings have been throughout the year, to see where we've grown and where we may need to grow some more.
I really loved reflecting on this and I wanted to share that with you.
This year has been a good one and I hope it continues but I also know that life ebbs and flows and part of what has made this year good is something that I've heard many times but haven't fully embodied and that's 'everything in life is happening FOR you, not TO you.' You've likely heard that before and maybe it's resonated, maybe not. I have heard it many times and thought 'yes, yes so true, I need to remember this' and then another challenge comes along and I drop into victim mode and self-pity and forget the teaching. Sometimes I get out of that mode quicker than others but I didn't ever truly embrace that life is happening FOR me.
I've been part of a great Manifestation programme for a couple of years now called 'TBM' or 'To Be Magnetic'. We do inner child work, shadow work and all through creating new neural pathways using hypnosis, journalling and lots of self awareness. Part of this is realising this lesson of life happening for us and not to us, that everything that crosses our path is there to help us grow and teach us something we need to learn in order to become fully aligned with our whole, worthy self.
A couple of big challenges have crossed my path this year, too close to home to share fully but both have enabled me to see that I can too easily give away my power. By dropping into victim and thinking I need to enter into battle, I just feel powerless and like I cannot do anything. I was getting confused, thinking I was being asked to put down more boundaries and with that I was feeling confrontational and hard in my energy, I was feeling out of balance with myself and ultimately all I wanted from both situations was peace. So, if I wanted peace, I needed to emanate peace. This is where I realised these situations were happening for me and in order to take my power back I needed to come back into alignment with the energy I wanted.
From doing the TBM work regularly along with my other spiritual practices, I have come to embody this teaching and I am so glad I have, that I can really feel it, that it has finally integrated. I have also come to see just how much work it takes to integrate and learn these things that the universe is asking of us but with consistency and love for ourselves we can get there.
Of course I may fall down, I'm human after all but I know I will have the awareness to check myself and remind myself of what I have learnt.
Another wonderful harvest for me has been music. I am so happy to have music in my life. in 2018 I sat in ceremony with the grandmother spirit (ayahuasca) and I was given a message whilst on that journey 'do music and see what happens'. I wasn't sure what that meant because I didn't ever intend to do music and I couldn't work it out, so I just parked it. Then, in 2021 I felt a strong calling to play harmonium and now, here I am, 2 years later, with a strong devotional music practice and sharing that with others, with my partner whom is also a musician. We're also holding beautiful sound healings together and I am loving that I can be of service in this way. I have gotten over big fears, fears that had me not eating all day and crying under a table because I was so consumed, of being seen, imposter syndrome and singing and playing outside of our home. By owning my fears, outing my nerves in public and taking some big breaths, I now feel and know this is a big part of my path. It wasn't something I ever planned and I feel I was thrown into it but those are the things in life that are the biggest blessings, the unexpected moments that lead us to exactly where we are meant to be but didn't plan to be, if we can only get out of our own way, to just surrender to where our soul wants to take us, we can experience the most incredible life.
I'd love to hear of your harvest, of your reflections on your year so far. I hope it's beautiful in all ways.
If you'd like to find out more about To Be Magnetic, follow this link and also you can use the promo code LAUREN8966 for 15% off eligible offers.